The Jowls of Life
Looking in the mirror some days requires an even mixture of cool composure and accomplished acquiescence. It isn’t something I have ever been a fan of – like many women, I’ve always found contemplating myself in the mirror a confronting and difficult exercise. But recently I’ve become aware of how the process has taken on a whole new meaning.
Now, looking in the mirror has developed into a somewhat Attenborough-ish expedition whereby I travel through the jungles of my life to investigate the evolution of Maria from the naïve girl she was to the mature woman she has become. Following the varied paths left by love and loss, joy and pain, success and stress, triumph and disappointment, I arrive at a destination that is filled with a richness worth more than gold. At least to me.
As my youth fades along with my well-defined jawline, I can look at my reflection and appreciate that the person looking back at me has – in her own way – made it. She has trudged through hard times, heartbreak, and hopelessness and survived. In fact, she has more than survived – she has won. She won against society and the world, both of which she often felt were conspiring against her.
The prizes won are many, but the biggest is a knowledge that I can overcome any challenge and that, in overcoming those challenges, I only become stronger and more confident, more able to battle against said society and world.
I recognise in myself an assuredness now that I didn’t have five years ago, let alone ten years ago. I have the strength to stand up for myself and to defend what I believe to be my right. I have the ability to appreciate my worth and the confidence to demand appropriate recompense, I know what I like and don’t like, and express both freely.
As I look around at the many younger women that surround me – women against whom I previously felt a combative sense of futile competition – I find that I can see through their bolshy exterior and their youthfulness and know that it only takes them so far.
I know what they are yet to discover, and that is, there are far greater advantages in my 50+ years of life experience than in the gentle curve of their young faces. What lessons are they yet to learn that I haven’t already mastered? What unknowns will the world throw at them that I haven’t already conquered?
Beyond their plucky exterior I know of their inner turmoil, because I’ve already been there. And they don’t fool me.
It wasn’t that long ago that I agonised over greying hair and wrinkling skin, bemoaned the injuriousness of perimenopause on my body, and lamented the seemingly daily loss of elasticity in my face. But now, I look upon all these signs of aging with an immense feeling of tenderness and admiration for that older Maria looking back at me. Now, I look forward to a full head of grey hair and recognise that those jowls are the jowls of life, a knowing and accomplished life at that.
© Maria Orlandi 2025